Q&A: Does love at first sight exist?
The short answer is, yes.
Love at first sight is actually easy to explain from a biological perspective. Romantic love runs along chemical pathways through the brain which can be triggered instantly and without even thinking about it, our brains form first impressions really quickly, and that can result in: infatuation.
Love at first sight really is passionate love, or lust. It takes place entirely in the limbic area of our brain (the oldest part of the brain responsible for survival) and it can happen within the first seconds of seeing somebody across a room.
Initially, we take in this information unconsciously. The algorithm in our brain will decide if this person is for us based on several factors. For example, we all have a biological market value, which evolutionary psychologists refer to as mate value, and it is linked to the likelihood of our reproductive success. The more likely we are to be reproductively successful, the higher our mate value. And we are all aware of our own mate value – it’s that inner voice that tells us when we see someone across the room if that person is out of our league or if we can do better.
There are of course evolutionary explanations for why and how we can identify our own and other people’s mate value. For example, research consistently shows that men place a greater premium than women on physical appearance in their selection of a long-term partner. Whereas women place greater premium on status and resources in a long-term partner. Of course, that doesn’t mean that all men are superficial and that all women are gold-diggers.
From an evolutionary perspective, physical features such as clear and smooth skin, lustrous hair, symmetrical features, a relatively small waist, relatively large breasts, and a low waist-to-hip ratio – can provide important information about a woman’s health and youth, and therefore her fertility. And vice-versa high status and resources may indicate that a man is able to provide for a woman and her offspring, which is a biological advantage.
However, because it is to a male’s genetic advantage to fall in love with a woman who will produce viable offspring, and physical appearance provides many cues to a woman’s reproductive value, the design of the psychological circuitry of love may make men more susceptible to fall in love at first sight. So statistically speaking, men tend to be more visual and therefore can fall in love faster. But women aren’t far behind. Romantic love is a basic drive, like thirst and hunger and that’s because it leads us to bond, mate and reproduce.
There are of course many other factors that can trigger instant attraction and make us fall in love. But essentially, we use our senses to interpret the cues another person sends about their health, their ability to protect, to provide, and the strength of their genes.
Long story short, once our algorithm gives us the green light, oxytocin and dopamine will push us into lust and we will pursue that person. So, whenever people talk about having chemistry with someone, they are technically right. Although some people develop attraction later, after they have been friends for some time, the majority of romantic relationships begin with attraction. Attraction is one of the most basic building blocks for love - it’s what draws us to get to know someone new, and what fuels the passion in the early stages of a relationship.
